Monday, February 2, 2009

Its a new day

Family
I am so so so happy to be back with my parents in Payson! It is the best decision I have made in a long time. In the past 2 weeks I have laughed more then I have in a long time. I am getting along with everyone in my family better now! I just can't believe how different things seem now. It really does shock me. I have missed out on so many things and blessings being away for as long as I was and making the decisions I was making. I am happy and very grateful to have another chance.
Relationships
Still hate boys right now! I was "hanging out/dating" this boy not to long ago and was head over hells for him. I cannot describe how great things were with him. When I was with him the world and everything bad in it just disappeared. We had the same interests and humor. He treated me amazing, he would make me dinner and take me to the coolest places. Honestly everything about him I adored. We never were officially boyfriend/girlfriend but we saw each other everyday practically and spent tons of time together. I should have known it was to good to be true! When we first started "hanging out" I asked him to be honest with me and sense we were dating other people as well that if someone else came along we would tell each other so we wouldn't drag the other along. He agreed and everything was great. we went to family things with each other, I went to his work party with him things were amazing and so was he. Well about 3 weeks ago he sent me a text and told me we needed to talk, I honestly thought he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend because the last time we were together he was saying things about us and the future and even went as far as to say things about when we get married and have kids. I didn't bring any of it up, it was all him so that is why I was thinking he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. well so he called me later that night and told me that he had a girlfriend and they had been dating for the past 3 months! WHAT A DIRT BAG!! I was totally caught off guard. It was like someone knocked the wind out of me. I was totally cool on the phone said congrats hope everything goes great, all that stuff. Got off the phone and honestly felt like part of me was gone and I had just been hit in the stomach. So the perfect guy ever turned out to be a huge dirt bag! I think it is time for me to become a Nun lol. I really don't think there are any good guys left out there that are even half normal. I am ready to give up totally.
Friends
Nothing much has changed on this front but I think I see hope in the future. I went to the Singles Ward and ran into a few people that I knew and had a good laugh and we exchanged numbers so I think things are going to start looking up! :)
Religion
My Nephew got baptized on Saturday. It was amazing, I was blown away by the presence of the spirit. I really am thankful for that reminder and that experience. I am glad to be getting bad on track in that aspect of my life it is great. The only real struggle I have is the members who are rude and uninviting. I have 2 tattoos and it seems like ever time someone sees them them start acting and treating me different, it is kind of hard to deal with but at the same time I don't want people in my life who are going to judge me without getting to know me. Also I'm not there for the people I am there cause I want to learn, grow and progress.

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